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Whoever knew that the Chinese mafia and penguins were related?

Last night I dreampt that I was training to be in the Chinese Mafia. Lots of kung fu was involved but not only that - animal taming.

Many animals were involved and my animal was a penguin. I don’t remember his name. I don’t remember much about my penguin except that the task of the day was to get your penguin to come to you from a few metres away. Eventually I trained my penguin to come to me and gave him lots of cuddles and strokings. I went to the other side of the training area so that he could come back to me, but he didn’t like waddling that way and wouldn’t come to me. I went to get him and he pecked me :(

At the end of the training, our leader / trainer took us inside for dinner. For some reason we had to sneak inside - maybe part of our training. It was all dark but you could see in the corner some spare ribs and some chicken frying. We managed to sneak past the people we had to avoid and later we ate some fried chicken and it was lovely.

Then I woke up.


Meatloaf and Brighton Pier?

Last night I had one of my bizzare dreams.

Firstly, I went shopping to a big shopping centre with my mum, dad and James. We were having a nice time browsing the shops. I was looking for a white cardigan-type-thing to go over my Seven Party costume (as I will be doing for real a bit later).

After a bit, we decided to stop at a cafe that seemed to be in a basement. You had to go down some rickety stairs to get in. The cafe/restuarant sold kind of oriental foodstuffs like noodles etc. It was an over-the-counter type arrangement like you get in foodhalls in shopping centres. I was kinda confused by the different options so I said to the woman serving at the counter that I would have the same as the guy next to me. This appeared to be someform of nutty meatloaf thing with salad.

Mum, Dad and James all got their food and had eaten it and my food still hadn’t arrived! I decided to tell the woman that I was cancelling my order because it had taken so long and that I wasn’t going to pay. She was very sure that this arrangement was unacceptable and said “no no, you pay!”. I disagreed but gently kinda retired back toward the table to tell the others that we should just leave. The woman was watching us from across the shop and whilst she was attending to someone else we got up and RAN out of the shop and totally out of the shopping centre into the street.

The others took me to McDonalds where I got some food instead and we all laughed about it. Later James and I went to the Seven Party. We met Jed and Rose there. Rose went to the party dressed as someone with seven-foot trousers and Jed was wearing a Brighton Pier costume. I wasn’t sure what the signficiance of Brighton Pier and seven was but I knew there was one because MattyT had also planned to go as Brighton Pier until he decided to change at the last minute because he couldn’t find the right show-lights.

James and I then had to leave because I was worried that the woman from the restuarant was plotting to find us. We had a nice time anyway.


Kylie comes with free pizza!

Last night I dreampt that I had tickets to see Kylie for Friday night next weekend. Then I discovered that if we bought tickets for the Sunday gig instead of the Friday one, we would get free pizza with the tickets! I therefore bought some for the Sunday show and tried to sell the other tickets.

I managed to sell the tickets but that turned out to be illegal. James and I ended up being found guilty in a court of law and then we were sent to this really odd prison together with dormitory style accommodation.

I never did get to see Kylie :(


I crashed Mat’s car and Kylie is a man?!

Last night I dreampt that I borrowed MattyT’s car. It was a nice Ford Mondeo. He let me borrow it to go and meet up with Kylie Minogue at her place.

On the way to Kylie Minogue’s house, I was approaching some traffic lights with two lanes of traffic. At the last moment someone moved from the lane they were in to my lane and hit the front left corner of the car. They broke the headlamp! I reckoned Mat would be annoyed but when I met up with him later at Kylie Minogue’s, he seemed ok about it.

Kylie’s house was really nice. Quite big and lots of stairs. Unexpectedly though, she had this really deep voice, like a man. I remember thinking that she didn’t sound like that when she was singing and that it was odd. James and MattyT were also at Kylie Minogue’s and later we went out in her boat on the lake in her garden. How pleasant.

Then I woke up.


The Party Dream

There was a request that i write more about my dreams again. I haven’t been dreaming much in the recent past but i think that is because i haven’t had much opportunity to lie-in, and that is when i get the best dreams. This weekend was my first semi lie-in for a few months!

The dream began with me hosting a birthday party - similar to the parties I had when I was young, with cake, jelly and ice cream and games. Instead of party bags to give people though, Mum had bought a baby guinea-pig for each person. They were so small and cute.

My guinea pig was completely black and I called him “Mr Black”. I filled out his name onto the little form I had to record my guinea-pig details onto (yes, i don’t know why there was a form either) but then i realised i was sitting next to a black man. I didn’t want to give the impression to the man that i was racist in anyway - my guinea-pig name had been purely based on the colour of his fur. I quickly scribbled out the name and changed it to “Rupert”.

Rupert and I had lots of fun. There were lots of other people at the party playing with their baby guinea-pigs as well. Becky was there and her guinea-pig was also black but had some white bits on too.

I looked out the window to the buffet that Mum had laid out in the garden. There were giant croissants, giant cookies and giant scotch eggs, and i meant GIANT. They were about 1 foot in diameter.

I was happily playing with Rupert but then suddenly he lost his grip when sitting on my knee and fell to the floor. I said to Becky, “he’s knocked himself out!” but Becky said it was serious. She tried to resuscitate Rupert with mouth to mouth and chest compressions. She even opened him up and pressed his little reset button on his heart but nothing worked. He had died. I was devastated. Thankfully Mum had bought spare baby guinea-pigs in case such a thing happened, so I got one of the spares.

Soon it was time for bed so we put the little guinea-pigs back in the pen that they came in, which seemed to be elevated up on a pedestal in the garden.

The next morning I woke up and looked out of the window toward the guinea-pigs and saw that there was a cat in the pen! The cat looked like Biggles - James’s family’s cat. I was terrified that the cat was killing the guinea pigs so screamed “Nooooo”. I realised however, that the cat wasn’t killing the guinea-pigs, but was picking them up and dropping them down - liberating them from their pen!! Most of the guinea-pigs were surviving the drop but were escaping off into the garden! We rushed outside and managed to catch quite a lot of them.
Later on, we went over to some boys’ house where I realised that everyone else were teenagers and I was the only one who was 25 years old. I was like their chaperone. These boys lived in a strange but posh complex where each house had a kind of multi-coloured slide out of the front door instead of steps. There was a flight of steps every few houses though, for those who didn’t want to use the slides.

We went to the local shopping centre to do some “hanging out”. The shopping centre was odd. You didn’t walk around the centre, you travelled on these enormous rotating discs that you had to step from one to the other when they came close to one another. It was quite scary, like something out of Knightmare. If you missed the opportunity you could fall down a big gap! Everyone else seemed to be at ease with these but i kept getting left behind because i would miss the opportunity to change discs when they met together. We went to pizza hut which also had the rotating discs with tables on but you had to kind of propell them yourself like the tea-cup ride at Alton Towers. We did that and it was fun.
Then I woke up.


Tower Block

Last night i dreampt the following:

I was staying in a really tall building - i think it was a hotel in New York and there were fountains and palm trees outside.

The building was massively tall and had two lifts to take people up. It had 1600 floors! As it got to the top of the tower, it gradually got narrower, so the lift on the right would eventually have to move horizontally to the left and enter the same lift shaft as the left hand lift. Computers would ensure that they didn’t crash and that the other lift would move out of the way back into it’s lower lift shaft before crashing.

I decided to go up to the very top of the building where there was some observation dome to look at the view. I got up there and it was so high that something odd had happened to the gravitational force. After getting out of the lift, i began to turn upside down and had to hold onto the rail that was provided. I then looked at the view upside down. The person next to me commented on how great the New York skyline was whilst i was just trying to cope with being upside down.

I managed to get back into the lift and went down to my hotel room where gravity was returned to normal. I think i was in a room in the 600th floor range. In my room was a woman with a beard! I was alarmed and ran out into the lift. The lifts were massive…like the size of a room. It took me down to the ground floor where i reported the presence of the bearded woman and they apologised and said they’d remove her and it wouldn’t happen again!

I think i then woke up.

Comments?


Dream

I dreampt the following last night:

All my friends and I were in a little go-kart race at some park and it was really fun. James and Andi were racing about and so was Becky and Duds and a few other people. I was in a 2-man go-kart with a new friend of mine. I don’t know what his name was but he was really friendly and said that James and I should go round to his family’s house for dinner after go-karting.

At his family’s house it soon became clear that his family was an enormous Italian-style family and kept exclaiming things like “Mama-Mia!” and his father kept clipping the younger boys round the ear saying “Respecta your mother!” etc. Additionally they turned out to be Italian-Jewish, so we were eating some kosher foodstuffs.

The meal was really yummy and i tucked in. Having cleared my plate James whispered to me “Don’t you remember…we have to go out for a big meal with both sets of our parents later tonight!!”. Oh no! How was I going to eat 2 dinners? I was faced with a Vicar-Of-Dibley-Christmas-Special dilemma where everyone would expect me to enjoy greatly mountains of food when i was already full!

I think i then woke up. :)


The German Police are lurking!

Now this dream didn’t make major sense at all!

I was in a little car, maybe a mini, with Reagan and Andi and some other dude that i can’t remember and we were driving to see my new flat. Reagan was driving which was odd because i’ve never been in a car with him driving. We were bimbling along and i started to think that reagan was driving very fast indeed and i started to worry. I told him to slow down but he protested something about how everyone drove really fast in South Africa and it was ok.

Anyway we had to park in a multi-storey car park at my new flat but when we went in, reagan started driving up one of the ramps that were meant for coming down! I yelled at him and told him it was ultra wrong but he said it was fine. For some reason, the down ramps were much steeper than the up ramps so it was really worrying. He was going too fast and we caught the side of the car on one side of the ramp and started skidding up it sideways.

At the top of the ramp we screeched to a halt and all around us were a load of cars making a “blockade”. It became very apparant to me immediately that these people making the blockade were the under-cover German police force! They were there staking out the car park for some other reason but because of reagan’s terrible disregard for the down ramp, they couldn’t ignore us and our law-breaking. They agreed not to report us to the english police as long as we carried out a punishment that they would devise for reagan. We agreed.

Whilst they were thinking up a suitable punishment, i wandered off down the street trying to call james on my mobile phone to let him know what was happening but i couldn’t get through to him. Later on he called me back and said he was on his way. When he arrived, i met him down near a ‘revolving ice-cream store’. It was a kind of stall, circular in design, which continually revolved to display all of the various ice-creams through the glass counter. The dude behind the counter kept having to walk to stay in one place. The woman next to us asked the guy whether he could revolve slower because she was having difficulty reading the chocolate doughnut menu.

James and I bought revolving ice-creams and started walking back towards the multi-storey car park to find out what the german policemen had decided for reagan. Before we got back to the car we met andi and reagan half way. It turned out that the german policemen had decided that the best punishment for reagan was to make him walk along the street, renumbering each of the houses with a big black marker pen and he was dutifully doing this with some help from andi. I thought about it and decided that yeh, that was a fair enough punishment!?

By this time it was quite late and we ended up having to stay the night in the near-by tree-house village. We sat and watched the sun go down over the king’s castle in the distance where the plumber and his princess lived and i slept on a floating lilo on the lake whilst james slept on a branch of the tree above me in a hammock.

Meanings anyone?


Dreams Part 2

Dream 2

This dream began with me getting therapy / counselling regarding both coping with epilepsy and also how to play musical instruments in an orchestra (!). The therapy was firstly being given by a dark skinned lady (possibly the one that currently presents Blue Peter) and then secondly (for no apparent reason) by Chris Packam of The Really Wild Show.
Later in the dream, I was inside an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I was one of the family and Uncle Phil was also my uncle. Will, Carlton and I were moving out of home, possibly to go to university, so I had to clean everything out of the pool house. I realised that the place needed hoovering, but I then realised that I had to wait until Angel and Cordelia had finished battling a demon in the living room.

Not quite a detailed as the first ? a bit more muddled, but still significant I?m sure!


Dreams

I had two rather odd dreams over the weekend. You may well conclude that I have a strange brain and additionally watch too much television. Please could you give me your comments / interpretation.

Dream 1

Myself and a group of my friends (including James, my brother Matthew and curiously Cordelia from Buffy The Vampire Slayer / Angel) were dead. I didn?t see us die in the dream, we were dead when it began, and how we had died was not important. We were in another reality ? the afterlife.
The afterlife was a large fun fair / theme park with roller-coasters, arcade machines, attractions, slides and ball pits. Everyone was having lots of fun. The Pepsi-Max Big One roller coaster (normally located at Blackpool Pleasure Beach) was available to ride on, so I put in my contact lenses (they make you take off your glasses to ride it) and Matthew and I had a go on it.
Later, we were walking around the park eating candyfloss and having fun when we came to a building which didn?t seem in keeping with the rest of the place. In dreams you sometimes just know stuff, and we all realised that this corner of the afterlife was hell. Inside the building was an awful awful hell.
There was some sort of manhole near the edge of the wall of the building and as we were walking past, Cordelia got sucked into the manhole that went into the hell building. We grabbed onto her hands and tried to pull her out but she got sucked in and the manhole closed up again. We abandoned our candy floss and got to work trying to lift the manhole by ourselves. We could hear Cordelia shouting and struggling below. Finally we got the manhole cover off and we started to pull her out but she said ?no, there are other people trapped in here?we help the helpless?we must go back and save them?. We all decided we had to go into the hell to save them and followed Cordelia inside through the manhole.
We entered the hell through the basement area. In the basement, there was a stage and an audience of people watching what was going on. On the stage was a game of Blind Date. As we watched, we soon realised that it was the same game of Blind Date over and over again that the people were being forced to play. The same people were in the game every time, so it wasn?t blind at all. Despite the protests from the 3 people on the other side of screen, Cilla forced them to play. The guy doing the picking was a really fat man off Channel 4?s Fit Club. The people in the audience were also being forced to watch this endless repeating game of Blind Date but they couldn?t get away. We crept towards the stairs to go up to the ground floor.
When we got to the ground floor, it soon became apparent that hell was actually a Jehovah?s Witness Kingdom Hall (apologies to anyone who is a Jehovah?s Witness reading?this is truly how the dream went) however the people there didn?t realise that what they were doing was wrong, and forcing people to play Blind Date was constituting hell. The place on this floor looked very Church-Hallish and they were reading from Bibles and Hymn Books or putting up church like banners saying things about how people should be anointed etc. At this moment our presence was obvious so we quickly decided amongst ourselves that in order to save the poor people forced to play Blind Date, we would have to infiltrate from the inside by pretending to be interested in Jehovah?s Witnessism. Their leader, John Cleese (you may know him from such things as Monty Python and Fawlty Towers), approached us. He wanted greatly to convert our young impressionable minds to the ways of Jehovah?s Witnessism so that we could get more people into the Blind Date parlour. He took us up another floor to the anointing room. This was a smallish swimming pool which had water tunnels that you could swim through to get to other rooms?including one that allowed you to go down to the Blind Date parlour. At first I was apprehensive about swimming along a fully submerged water tunnel in case I needed air, but I soon realised that I was dead and didn?t need to breathe. I got in and swam around whilst the others helped in the church hall to put up banners and talk about Jehovah?s Witnessism. During this time, I forged a plan.
Earlier on, before I went to the anointing pool, John Cleese was telling me about the beliefs of the Jehovah?s Witnesses and how happy he was that I believed them all. He was talking about how God allowed me to go swimming on a Tuesday but not on a Wednesday. Using Leela from Futurama?s example from the episode with the robot Santa Claus, I decided to flummox John Cleese with this illogical paradox. I got Cordelia and the gang to back me up and we confronted John Cleese in the church hall part of the Kingdom Hall. I said ?John Cleese, I have some questions about the beliefs you have outlined. Why does god say I can swim on a Tuesday but not on a Wednesday. Why would god say that? What makes swimming good on Tuesdays but bad on Wednesdays?? John Cleese couldn?t answer. He said ?just because you can?t!!? and I screamed ?BUT WHY? WHY WHY WHHHHHHY?? repeatedly, getting the gang to join in shouting WHY. We shouted about the swimming conundrum until John Cleese could take no more. We had broken his strength! The walls of the Kingdom Hall crumbled away and the people were released from their Blind Date hell.
Then I woke up.

I will write about the other dream later. Now I have to watch a programme about Take That.